Poppy Esperando

Poppy ("father") / Esperando ("wait", as in "waiting")

Poppy Esperando... Father Waiting

I am a father with a broken heart.  A man who has been absolutely devasted by the loss of a child.  Not the death of a child… but the loss of a child.  And there is a big difference.  As a Christian, I know that if any of my saved children were to pass away, they would immediately be in heaven with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  While I would be devasted for sure, I would be comforted by the knowledge of where they are and who they are with—and rejoice that I will be united with them once and for all at the end of the age (see 1 Thessalonians 4:17, Matthew 8:11,  Luke 16:19–31 as examples).

While my heart breaks for anyone who morns the death of a loved one, more than anything I morn the loss of those who have rejected Christ.  This type of spiritual death leads to an ultimate form of pain and misery beyond anything our earthly life can experience or measure (see Matthew 10:28, Matthew 10:33, John 3:36, 2 Thessalonians 1:8, Mark 16:16).

I lament and grieve for my son because in the year 2016 at the age of 19 he was convinced by the world to join the cult of transgenderism.  Like many young people dealing with late teenage changes brought on by puberty and hormonal shifts, he was struggling to cope with the world around him.  His anger became uncontrolled and he began to reject everything we are and stand for within our family.  He directly rejected God, stating very plainly to all around him that God dead and all who know and follow Christ are evil.  He began turning to substance abuse, and other avenues of dangerous behavior.  We sought medical help for him, both from a mental health and substance abuse standpoint.  To our horror, it was the very medical industrial complex that we trusted to help him that ultimately convinced him his issues were rooted in gender dysphoria.  And then he made the fatal choice that led to our complete separation.  He began cross-sex hormone manipulation, and publicly “dead-named” himself (a practice of one saying they are dead, attempting to destroy their existence in favor of a rebirth into something new and opposite of reality).  He was gone… headed down a path we could not follow.

I refuse to debate anyone who attempts to make claim that Christ tolerates homosexuality (click on "Statement of Faith" button below for more detail).  Yes, Jesus loves all sinners for sure.  But he clearly calls us to repent and return from our evil ways.  In losing my son to these dark, unnatural and wicked concepts, I began to press the scriptures hard in the hopes that we might be able to find some sort of common ground… some small island of thought where we could co-exist between our strong beliefs and his lack thereof.  But unfortunately no such island exists.  Scripture is very clear on this topic—God absolutely does not condone homosexuality.  And it is my humble opinion that the entire modern day transgender movement is nothing more than man’s attempt to find a way around God’s crystal clear laws.  In other words, people claiming “I’m not engaging in homosexuality, I’m really just the opposite gender from how I was born.”  Truly Solomon had it correct when he said nothing is new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).  Just a modern attempt to eliminate the conflict presented by God’s clear expectations.  To make things worse, the medical establishment has made billions exploiting this issue, and do nothing but exasperate the problem executing pointless and dangerous solutions that result in never-ending revenue streams.  As I said, scripture from both old and new testament is very clear on this topic:

Romans 1:24-28 / Leviticus 18:22 / Leviticus 18:24-30 / Leviticus 20:23 / Matthew 15:19 / 1 Corinthians 5:9 / 1 Corinthians 5:11 / 1 Corinthians 6:18 / 1 Corinthians 10:8  / Ephesians 5:3 / Ephesians 5:5 / Colossians 3:5 / 1 Thessalonians 4:3 / Hebrews 13:4 / Jude 1:7 / Revelations 21:8

… And it is on this rock I will stand.

My songs are all prayers to God to turn my son around and bring him home.  They are awash in tears of pain, an endless sea of heartache.  As his earthly father I am grieving his separation from us, but more than anything I am crying out to God to save his soul.  It is his relationship with his heavenly Father that matters most of all, and this is the ultimate point of the Banar album.  Lord, please save his soul…  One day when he returns to his sanity, our family will celebrate like never before!  The prodigal son will have returned!  We will make an album of songs representing praise and joy, giving resounding thanks to God for such a great victory!  Amen!